A.J.'s Journal

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 09:05:58 GMT

The torch I am carrying is burning bridges and yet I do nothing about it.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:58:23 GMT

Wow is has been forever since I posted on this live journal.
A lot has changed since I left.

I have a new job working at Barnes and Noble and I actually love it there...about 83% of the time, which is pretty dang good. The people at my work are really chill and I hang out with a bunch of them outside of work. I sort of expected to find some beautiful nerdy girl while working there, but a lot of the clientèle are the people who read manga and or live in their parent's basement. I have had some really "interesting" experiences with our socially retarded customers, good and bad, but in the end good because it gives me funny stories to tell people.

I am single and have been for about 9 months now, but have dated at least 4 people not counting random girls I have made out with since my last post. Becoming older and I hopefully a little wiser, I have given myself certain standards in the girls I will date. I guess having these standards makes it difficult finding a girlfriend, but I have dated the spectrum of girls and have created the perfect girl for me in my head. Would I be able to compromise with some of my standards? well...yeah, knowing me I am sure I have some flawed ideas.

I am currently living with an Old friend Martine, I was his first friend in middle school at centennial. We get along great and have a lot in common, even though we have an argument from time to time we still have fun and I enjoy getting drunk with him and smashing his head into the oven repeatedly. A question that many of you are thinking is what happened to Uncle Bill? he is still living in my basement with his dog Taz. One of these days I am going to kick him out, but I think that will be at least a year from now.

Something that I think will never change is that my best friend is still Anthony, he has been there for me when a lot of people were not and I love him (not gay) for that. Who knows? one day we may just buy a house together when we are old and just live on/off the land...once upon a time that used to be Erin's and my dream, but I have not talked to her in ages and I miss her.

I have become super green friendly over the past couple years, I ride my bike as much as possible and recycle everything. I also never throw my cigarette butts out the window even it makes my car smell like something awful.

Last year I went hitch hiking and it was one of the most greatest experiences of my life! this story is too long to write.

nice catching up,
Allen

The Week Long Juice Fast

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:22:09 GMT

I feel as though I should have wrote this three days ago when I started my juice fast, but I did not think of it until now. I am on day three of the juice fast and going strong at the moment. I have been keeping a log of my progress and thoughts of the day, examples of things I log are the time I woke up, the weight I am, and how many push ups, crunches, and reverse push ups I do in the morning before I start the off the day.

Sitting at the Fireside.

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:45:47 GMT

So what is new since I have posted last?

I have a new room mate, his name is Matt Ryechert and he is a bastard, but in a good way. we good along pretty well and since he is paying rent I can afford heat!

I quit smoking...it is has been really hard, but it has been over two days since I have had a cigarette.

Christmas is coming up and I am actually prepared for it this year.

Got a hair cut and have been sporting a five o'clock shadow.

I have been wearing ties every single day with my pea coat, so I look like a grown up and it is about time I started acting like one.

Cut down on my drinking down about 75%.

Now when I look at my future, I am not afraid...ok I am still a little afraid, but not nearing as much.

Anthony and I have been talking about starting our own coffee shop, but who knows what will become of that.

A photo-booth and I am going to leave it at that.

I OWN MY HOUSE!!!!

Goals for the near future.

Get my ass back into college.

Get my ass a girlfriend.

Fix up my house.

Fix my car.

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:53:52 GMT

I went to Taking Back Sunday and it was AMAZING! I felt pure happiness singing with Adam, but when the show ended I became very depressed.

The happiness I felt made me warmed all over and I got all tingly.

Sitting the cafe...

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 23:25:41 GMT

Tonight I will be attending a show, but not just any show Taking Back Sunday!!!! I could not be more excited to see them in concert, for unfortunately the only second time and not the 30th.

This is going to make me sound like I am a 14 year old girl, but I have a little bit of a crush on a girl. Having a crush on someone is really annoying though, because having a crush in my opinion means you're going to be crushed.

I started writing my "novel" and it seems to be going pretty well. It is a mix between Running with Scissors and The Subterraneans, but with a little of my own ideas in the mix. Two chapters down, I have no idea how many to go.

Living and Stipulations

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:40:25 GMT

So I can not fall asleep for the life of me, so I am back at the Fireside cafe. All I can think of is how I am tired of people and their stipulations, even though I do not want to listen to them I will let them have them as long as they do not affect me.

I look out the window to see that the dawn is about to break and I realize how much I love my life of insanity, living in the moment. I drink randomly and chain smoke, then I clean my garage at 2 o'clock in the morning, play the guitar, read and write. At this current moment in my life I am living in the moment and wish the people I know would just try it instead of worrying about every little detail, about making a mistake. I suppose my hero Jack Kerouac would be proud.

A late Farwell

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 07:50:39 GMT

Tonight as I sit alone at the Fireside cafe, I reflect on all the amazing memories that I have had in this tacky place. I am unsure what I am really feeling at this moment, because it is not sad nor happy, it is nothing I can explain that would make any sense. I remember when the Scooby Gang would come here and play scrabble and drink coffee, but now the group I once could always count on is now gone. I do not blame anyone for this occurrence of separation, because people in time will always change and there is nothing to do except to accept it as how life is. Sometimes I wish I could turn the clock back so I might relive those times over and over again, but then I would have not met some of the most amazing people and the people who are still in my life have become a bigger part in my life. I have nothing left to say except...

R.I.P. Scooby Gang
Met up with a tragic demise in 2006
members include with their alias:
Tommy L. (Panda-Man)
Mark C. (Japedo)
Martine M. (SH** Life)
Jason L. (J~Lyte)
Hilary A. (8 1/4 and Cheese Log Factory)
Megan F. (Slut)
Mathias K. (Duddits)
Anthony M. (Blacky/Nigglet)
Allen J. (so many, all involving being gay)

After writing this I remember my dear friend Jason L. telling me that I was the glue that kept us together...well Jason it looks like I failed everyone.

Tue, 22 May 2007 23:51:32 GMT

At this point in my life everything seems pointless!

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:30:19 GMT

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
I'm my own stone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.
Now I've made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
I'm my own stone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Throw me that lifeline,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
I'm my own stone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

"They never hit their brakes..."
"There was no time to see..."
"He just ran out in the street..."
"Does anybody know his name?"
"I think I recognize him..."
"He sure as hell paid for that mistake..."

Woah.

So take me out tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
I'm my own stone around my neck.
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Well save my life tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink
I'm my own stone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

The Beatles

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 22:43:56 GMT

I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her

She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her

A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me

Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
will never die
And I love her

Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
will never die
And I love her, ooh

What...The...Hell!

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 21:04:25 GMT

After some unsettling news, it turns out that out of ALLof my friends I am the only one waiting until marriage to have sex. That is right kids your buddy A.J. is a virgin! I am not sure why I am waiting anymore, since people keep pushing me to have sex and most of my christian friends have already had sex, so why should I wait anymore? Cursed Morals!

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 09:53:33 GMT

I want to move to Ireland! Donations would be appreciated and if you do not like me that would give you more of an incentive to give me money so you would have to never see me again.

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 07:46:27 GMT

I just got back from Boyz II Men show!

It was a really amazing show except for the following:

1. the opening band
2. the ugly lesbians yelling at the singer
3. THE FAT BITCH WHO KEPT GRINDING HERSELF ON ME FROM BEHIND...MY ASS IS SERIOUSLY RAW!!!! THE MORE I MOVED AWAY THE MORE SHE GRINDED ME!

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 20:32:11 GMT

"A Box Full Of Sharp Objects"

It's our time to shine through the down
Glorified by what is ours
We've fallen in love
We've fallen in love
It was the best idea I ever had

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful thing

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful thing

Do you want a song of glory
Well I'm fucking screaming at you

It's our time to shine through the down
Glorified by what is ours
We've fallen in love
We've fallen in love
It was the best idea I ever had

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful thing
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful thing
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful thing

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:25:14 GMT

So in a week and a half I have gotten a girlfriend, became vegan (for a month...or maybe more), and gave my dog Gretchen to my aunt who is looking for a small dog. I think it is better if she is with them because I am not around enough to give her the love and attention she deserves.

huh...

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 20:21:20 GMT

I just had cigarette and now I am drinking orange spice tea. Life is a funny thing...so are girls.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 08:31:43 GMT

I hate everyone at least 30%

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 01:32:30 GMT

I was looking for a song by Taking Back Sunday that would express how I was feeling at this very moment, but there are too many. Curse you Taking Back Sunday for being so amazing!

I'm just a LOVE MACHINE! part 2

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 12:05:08 GMT

I just set up two of my friends up with each other, two complete strangers and they hit it off great and I mean great! I now will be setting up my manager up with one of my other friends and I will see how that goes and for me I am going to keep my eye out.

I'm just a LOVE MACHINE!

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 08:13:42 GMT

I have been playing a game of match maker for my friends, but for myself I am hopeless!

Other then that my life has been WORK, WORK, AND OH YEAH WORK!

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:45:18 GMT

I feel as if I am Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, everything is coming together amazingly and I am ready for the ending (knowing my neighborhood I will end up getting shot!)

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:26:51 GMT

I have made
poetry
mixes people have listened to over and over
friendships I thought would last a lifetime only to crumble in front of me
lives better and lives worse
my own pain
my own tragedy
and much more

I only wish it did not come with so much regret, but that is life I guess.

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 08:47:15 GMT

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth til meaningless
Sharpen them with lies

And whatevers going down
Will follow you around
Thats how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
Thats how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 05:04:06 GMT

I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown!